A Full Circle
by x-fallenstars-x
Summary: What if Ryan had moved to Newport at the age of three? Would things be different had Marissa not been the first girl he met? R/S centric.
1. Every Circle Has A Beginning

She had to talk to him, she had to. Not to lie this time. She would tell the truth, the whole truth. She pressed the phone to her ear, trying to formulate the words in her head, but none would come. Sorry wasn't good enough, not this time. She couldn't sink into him, tell him he he was her best friend and her favourite. Not this time. The tone beeped monotonously, for what felt like a lifetime. She began to panic as the message machine kicked in.

"I'm sorry, i'm so sorry, it's not good enough, it can't be. Don't forgive me, i don't deserve it.. I just.. Oh god I do love you.. I love you and it's awful and .."

She swirved the car round the round about, somewhat wildly the phone slipping from her grip as she turned into the side road.

"Crap.." she said under her breath feeling around her feet for the small pink cellphone. "Come on, not now.." she looked down, her hand under her seat, she felt it, yes.

And then... Too fast. The car hit the truck without a screech of brakes, or a scream of fear. No warning.

--

Summer Roberts had never been unpopular. Ever, the only time she'd ever felt vunerable in school was her very first day of kindergarden. Summer had arrived with a large sequinned bag made of turquoise silk in her pink cord dungarees and gone to go finger paint. She sat happily humming to herself, however out of tune she was, when suddenly a boy shoved her out of her seat. She landed on the floor with a large thump and began to cry.

The boy turned to her, his sandy brown hair long, almost touchig the shoulders of his aercrombie t-shirt and laughed.

"No girls in the painting section, go play with the dolls or something." he said pushing her away.

Summer had rubbed her big brown eyes and began to get up when she heard another boys voice.

"Luke, don't be mean to the new kids, or i'll tell your mommy about how you were te one who pinched Amy last week."

Summer looked up, surprised to see a by a little shorter than Luke but taller than her, with dirty blonde hair. His hand was outstretched to her. She held it, helping herself up and brushing dirt off of her dungarees.

"Thanks" said Summer putting one thumb in her mouth while the other twiddled one of her long brown plaits that lay either side of her head. " My names Summer, what's yours?"

"Ryan" said the boy "Don't worry about Luke, he's just annoyed because his Daddy went away again." He smiled at her and yawned.

"Oh, okay.. well i'm going to play in the home corner.." she said before beginning to run away. "Come with me?"

"Why?" asked Ryan putting both hand in his jean pockets and shrugging.

"I'll feel safer with you" she said smiling to reveal her tiny white teeth behind her thumb and running over to the home corner, closely followed by Ryan. And it seemed since then. Ryan had stayed close behind her and as she had known, always known. He would keep her safe.

--

"Atwood!" shouted Summer across the cafeteria before putting her tray down next Ryans.

"Roberts." he replied smilinging at her. "You going to Lukes party tonight?"

"Ya-huh, like i'd miss it, you need a ride?" she asked biting into a french fry.

"Nah Marissas moms out of town so we can all use the limo, it's not like you'd be designated driver tonight anyway.." he said raising his eyebrows at her and flicking a page of his magazine.

"I know that duh, i was waiting for you to say you had your own ride so i could crash it. Whatchya readin'?" she asked nosily, pulling the magazine out of his grasp. "What the hell? Since when did you read Newport living?"

" I don't, Seth left it here when he was reading about Caleb, figured since he's like.. my adopted Granpa... or something... i should read it."

"Hey guys." Came the voice of Marissa, Summers best girl friend. "So you should totally see my dress for tonight.."

Summer rolled her eyes as Marissa continued to rambleon, flicking a french fry at Ryan to which he retaliated by throwing a fish stick at her.

"...gold sequins and a satin trim .Sounds good right Sum?" finished Marissa scooping up the newport living and beginning to read the style section.

"Huh? Oh yeah gorgeous .." said Summer drawing a ketchup smily face on her plate.

"Yo, what is up? Hey babe" said Luke in his usual louder than life voice before throwing his arm around Marissa and embracing her in a lip lock. Ryan rolled his eyes whilst Summer imitated a gagging motion.

"I just remembered i have a huge history report due tomorrow... lots of research to be getting to.. I'll see you guys later" said Ryan getting his bag and escaping as fast as possible..

"Oh wait.. he has my french notes.. be right back.." said Summer catching up with Ryan. "Way to leave with them.." she said nudging him in the ribs. " Any farther down each others throat and they'll be eating each others lunches." she ran a hand through her hair as Ryan recovered from the winding sensation in his chest.

"Oh joy, imagine sharing a limo with them tonight." said Ryan with a slight tone of disgust.

"Right, that sucks. Tell you what, we'll make a deal, i won't drink, if you don't. And then i can drive us. Either of us cave, then it's the limo with those two.." bargained Summer tossing her hair.

"Ok, i'll take that. But you better not cave." he said looking a his watch "Crap, i'm late for Bio, later" he said putting his arms around her small frame in a hug.

"Later.." she replied breathing in his usual Ryan scent. It reminded her of sitting his room with him last summer when he was grounded. Or climbing inside his duvet with him when they were seven, because she was afraid the monsters would get her and he said she'd be safe there with him. He'd keep her safe.

--

Please tell me your opinion on this story so far, it's an AU and it's still blooming into a proper story at the moment. Next chapter up on the 19th April :D


	2. Your Arms Like Towers

Hey guys, this chapter is up a little earlier than i anticipated as i had a creative rush :)

To all the people who reviewed the last chapter, thanks for the encouragement and i'm glad you like the story so far. In total this will have seven chapters. So here goes the second one.

--

"Atwood!"

Summers distinctive yell echoed across to the poolhouse as Ryan gazed at his watch. Twenty minutes late, oh well, better than her usual hour and a half.

Ryan put his cell phone in his pocket and locked the poolhouse door before walking round the side of the house. There she was. The roof of her car was up and she was sat fiddling with her freshly curled hair which lightly brushed her shoulders. She looked gorgeous, the sun was setting now and the dim light brought out her brown eyes. She turned to see Ryan.

"Jeez, finally. Well don't just stand there, my hair will get flat" she said pushing her sunglasses down onto her face as Ryan swung his legs over the side of the car.

"Cute shirt, where's Seth?" asked Summer backing out of the driveway.

"Grounded. But i'm pretty sure he'll be sneaking out later. He still pissed, his mom made him miss his last match of the season." said Ryan fastening his seatbelt and leaning out the side of the car.

"Well, he would be. All that guy thinks about is waterpolo." Summer rolled her eyes as she said this. True, Seth played alot of waterpolo. He was a jock and sometimes a jerk. But they put up with him, mostly because he was Ryans brother, well, kind of.

"So, seeing as how we're not drinking tonight. I take it you can stay at your own house? Not that my step monster would mind you staying at mine, but we won't be drunk so theres no need for sneaking round." said Summer shrugging.

"Right well Kirsten wants me back by one." said Ryan, holding onto the seat as Summer swerved round a corner. Talk about reckless driving.

"Aww does Ry-ry have a bedtime to stick to?" said Summer grinning and hitting him playfully on the arm, at which point the whole car moved with her.

"Summer, eyes, road." said Ryan putting one hand on the wheel.

"Right."

--

It was only nine o'clock but the party was beginning to enter full swing. Luke had set up the beer funnel and it had almost started to smell like sex. Summer sat perched on a stool at the breakfast bar, this had to be the stupidest deal ever, drinking was half the fun. The prospect of the limo didn't seem so bad now. She looked around, seeing Marissa wrapped around Luke as he took a long toke of what Summer could be sure wasn't just marlboro straights.

"Drink?" came a voice from behind her, she spun round to see a tall pale boy, with black spiky hair.

She smiled.

"Designated driver." she said with slight malice. "But i could go for a cola."

"One cola coming up" replied the guy pouring out a glass of cola.

A loud crash pointed out that the vase on the window had broken and Summer turned to see Seth had arrived, causing yet another eye-roll to occur.

"Here." said the boy and she turned around again.

"Thanks..."

"Oliver" he said smirking a little "Oliver Trask."

"Summer Roberts." she said sipping her cola. "So how come i've never seen you? Home schooled?"

"Nah i go to pacific." he said slipping his wallet into his jeans. "You?"

"Harbour. Joy." she said dowing the rest of the cola, she needed some kind of rush. Caffeine would have to do.

--

Ryan had never had less fun at a party. He'd stuck to the water all night and hadn't even got a little stoned. He heard a large crash but didn't turn to look. Probably just some drunken nut.

"Hey man" said Seth hittng Ryan on the back. "How's it going?"

"Not great. See you managed to escape then." said Ryan standing up.

"You know me, nothing stops the Seth. Now if you'll excuse me, i've got some business to be attending to." he said signalling to two blonde girls who were eyeing him from the corner of the room.

"Good luck with that." said Ryan walking towards the door, fumbling in his pocket for a lighter.

Ryan opened the door, breathing in the fresh air sat on the bottom step. Lighting the ciggarette he took a long drag. He needed it.

Sometimes he wondered why he came to the parties. It made more sense when you were drunk. Another drag. He heard the door open behind him and a girls drunken slur followed by a shhh.

Great. Now he'd get to listen to some randoms hook up. Shaking his head he stood up, stamping out the ciggarette. Making his way back inside, the girls slur got louder. And all of a sudden sounded all too familiar.

The word "Don't" came out, however unrecognisable. He turned and looked around the corner to see Summer, slumped onto a guys shoulder. Her eyes were unfocused, almost closed.

"Just shut the hell up." said the guy fumbling with her skirt.

Ryan moved quicker than he remembered having done in years. One blow and the guy was down, he caught Summer, her eyes were now completely closed and slumped into his chest.

Ryan couldn't feel anything except anger. He kicked the guy once, twice, three times until he knew he wouldn't get up.

"What have you given her?" he shouted, before lifting Summer up.

"I don't.. she.. just a couple of pills."

"Your sick." shouted Ryan kicking the guy square in the gut again.

Then he ran inside, Summer laying still in his arms.

"Luke!" He shouted, over the crowd. "Quick, i need to put Summer in the spare room. Unlock it."

Luke got up from under Marissa, his eyes hazy. He was clearly baked.

"What's up Holmes?"

"Someones spiked her drink, i need to put her somewhere.. just... hurry up.!" said Ryan, his words coming out a hundred miles an hour. He was panicking. He could feel his heart beating in his throat.

"It's open dude" said Luke with a smile before joinging Marissa again.

Ryan raced up the stairs, kicking the door open and lying Summer on the bed. He filled a glass with water and began to dab it on her her face.

"Come on.. Roberts.. Roberts, wake up, come on."

Summer stirred a little and her eyes slowly opened. "Ryan." she said with a smile.

"That's right, it's Ryan, you got spiked okay Sum but it's okay. It's okay." he wasn't sure whether he said it to calm Summer or himself. "I'm gonna go get you some food or something.."

He began to get up but Summer grabbed his hand.

"Stay with me." she said slurring again slightly. "So i won't be scared?"

"I think..." he looked down at her. She looked so helpless. Delicate, fragile, Summer. "Okay."

He lead next to her, sidling up behind her and wrapping his arms around her front.

She smiled to herself. She knew Ryans arms were the safest place to be.

--

Summer woke up the next morning with no memory of the night before, just two strong arms pulling her close to the warm body that lay behind her, she breathed in, knowing at once that it was Ryan from the scent she knew so well.

A few minutes passed where she just lay the, trying to remember the night before. But eventually, due to being extremely hungry, she prised Ryans arms from around her, kissed his wrist and sat up.

Ryan stirred as she moved, his eyes flickering open.

"Hey." he said smiling up at her. "How're you feeling?"

"I.. well. I guess i got drunk last night, huh?" she said fluffing her hair up and pulling her skirt down to the correct length.

"Not exactly... some guy..dark hair, striped blue shirt? He put something in your drink.." said Ryan sitting up, rubbing his eyes. "It's okay, i took care of him."

"He didn't... i mean.. me and him.. we didn't-"

"No." said Ryan cutting her off. "And i'm pretty sure his nose'll be broken so badly now that's never gonna happen to him again."

Summer smiled and lead down to look at Ryan.

"You're my hero. You know that right?" she said stroking his cheek with her thumb.

"I have my moments" said Ryan with a small laugh. "Anyway, c'mon. You owe me a ride home."

--

About a half hour after Ryan arrived home, Seth stumbled in.

"Dude i am so hungover right now." he said collapsing onto the nearby chair.

"Rough night?" asked Ryan putting down the book he was reading.

"You could say that. I do like it rough." said Seth with a slight smirk,

"Jeez thanks for that disturbing visual."

"Anytime, so what's all the fuzz about Summers brush with death?" asked Seth picking up a hand mirror from Ryans bed side tabled and admiring his teeth in it.

"Some guy spiked her drink, but she's fine. I stayed with her, checked she was okay." Ryan said whilst shrugging.

"Sure, that's why you stayed." said Seth sarcastically. "Summer Roberts, hot piece of ass if i do say so mys-"

"Don't talk about her like that." said Ryan sharply.

"I'm messing with you man, well not about her being hot, that's true. But you two? Jeez if it was gonna happen, would of happened by now right? You've only been inseparable the last 12 years." said Seth rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

"Right, anyway. Any luck with the blondes?" asked Ryan.

"Yep." said Seth walking over to the full length mirror.

"Which one?" sked Ryan.

"Both, of course." said Seth as though it were the most obvious answer. "It amazes me how i even look good hungover. Amazing right?"

Ryan rolled his eyes.


	3. Way Back Into Love

**Disclaimer: The O.C. belongs to Josh Schwartz.**

**Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming! So the Cohens will be featured in this chapter as I've had some questions about when they'd come into it. Thanks to newportz-princess for beta-ing this for me!**

* * *

"Armani, totally. Don't you think it would suit my bone structure Mom?" asked Seth who was holding the black suit up against himself.

"Sure honey, get it. Oh, hold on a sec." Kirsten began fumbling in her handbag in hopes of finding her now ringing cell phone. "Tony? Oh hi, sure..." and with that she walked off towards a quiet corner of the dressing room.

"Ryan, white or black. White will bring out my tan, but black goes with my hair. C'mon now honest opinion," said Seth, looking from one suit to another.

"Dude, just pick. It's not that hard. We've been here for three hours," said Ryan rolling his eyes, a black Prada suit slung over his arm in a laundry bag.

"Look, okay this is Cotillion. Some girl is going to want to remember this night for the rest of her life. What if her date looks bad? That would just ruin it. I'm thinking of others Ryan. Black definitely," he said passing the suit to the store clerk.

"Some girl? Still not got a date then, huh?" asked Ryan smirking a little.

"I'm just keeping my options open, that's all," said Seth haughtily. "Besides, who are you going with. Wait! Don't tell me. Roberts!"

"Well yeah...but we agreed if we couldn't find anyone else we'd go together," said Ryan as Seth got his laundry bag and they began to walk outdoors to the car.

"Sure you did, whatever dude. Marissa said she's got these two girls who don't have dates. I figured I'd take them," he said unlocking the car and getting into the passenger seat.

"Them? Have you no shame?" asked Ryan who was laughing slightly as he got in the back seat.

"What? I'm helping out a poor defenceless girl or two. Why be ashamed? Jesus Christ, where is my mother?" Seth asked, pushing the horn in a frustrated manner before climbing out the sunroof and shouting "Mom! Come on! I don't have all day."

Kirsten hurried quickly outside and got into the car. "I'm sorry sweetie, work, work, work, you know? Did you pick out a nice suit sweetie?" she asked turning to Ryan as she reversed.

"Yeah I got the Prada one," said Ryan as his phone began to ring. "Just a sec..."

"Hey Roberts," he greeted flicking open his phone.

"Atwood, so Chip just asked me to go with him tonight...I know we said we were going if we couldn't find-"

"Summer, it's fine go with Chip."

"You'll be okay?"

"Sure, yeah, I'll...I dunno. I'll find someone," said Ryan, looking out the car window.

"Right...I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, I've gotta go, so I'll catch you later." With that he closed his cell. He couldn't help but feel a nagging pang of disappointment, but why? He could find someone else to go with.

"Seth, looks like tonight you're a one girl kinda guy, turns out I need a date."

* * *

Ryan did up his tie and looked in the mirror. The dressing room was filled with dressmakers, debutantes, parents and white knights. He sighed. He was used to dressing up for these events now, but he still felt stupid in the fancy suits.

"Ryan!" He heard from across the room, he turned to see Marissa. "Hey! Wow you look great," she told him.

"Thanks, you too. So come on then hit me with the worst," he said jokingly.

"Ryan, this..." she started, but momentarily stopped to grab the wrist of a girl behind them, whom up until that point had her back to them. "...Is Anna Stern. She just moved here from Pittsburgh," Marissa introduced.

"Pleased to meet you," said Anna, extending a gloved hand of which Ryan shook.

"You too, you look..."

But he didn't finish his sentence; the door had opened and in walked Summer, her arms draped around Chip. She looked stunning; her hair was clipped back, small curls framing her face. He dress was floor length white silk, with just a hint of cleavage showing and her eyes sparkled. Needless to say, all eyes were on her.

"Ryan!" she yelled as she came across the room, dragging Chip by his wrist. "Hey, wow, you clean up good. Who would of thought it."

Ryan laughed slightly. "Well same to you. You look amazing," he said looking her up and down. "But...pull up your dress a little, we're all getting a free show."

"Yes Dad," she said rolling her eyes. "Don't pretend you don't love it."

"Oh totally, you got me," he said sarcastically.

"Well Atwood, I have to go retouch, so I'll see you later," she said before kissing him on the cheek and fleeing to the other side of the room.

Ryan sighed.

"So you're into her huh?" came Anna's voice, making him jump.

"Huh? I...no. No. It's not like that, we're just friends. Good friends," Ryan stammered.

"Whatever you say," said Anna, a knowing glint in her eye.

* * *

Cotillion had gone smoothly, the girls had curtsied, the guys had bowed and then they'd all danced - the usual. Now Ryan was downing a large cup of beer. The after party was at Holly's beach house and Ryan figured he'd make an evening of it. Anna had a curfew and couldn't stay, Summer had disappeared into thin air with Chip, Luke and Marissa were in his truck doing god knows what, and Seth was passed out on the couch.

It was a little after midnight and Ryan lit his eleventh cigarette of the night.

He took a long drag and sipped from the bottle of vodka, which was on the counter in front of him. Most people were still in full swing, bodies moved together all around the room.

He swigged the vodka again be fore feeling his phone vibrate in is pocket.

'Summer Calling.' He flicked the phone open and answered.

"Hello?" he said stubbing out the cigarette.

"Ryan?" He heard what he guess was Summer's voice, though she sounded upset.

"Yeah, hi. What's up? You sound...different."

"I...oh god Ryan I'm an idiot," she said clearly in a state on the other end of the phone.

"Woah, calm down okay? Where are you, I'm gonna come find you."

"Holly's guest room..."

"What are you doing in there?" he asked frowning and sliding off the chair.

"I'll explain it later..." she said vaguely with a sniff as she hung up.

Ryan made his way up the stairs and walked along the hallway until he reached the guest room.

Pushing the door open gently, he called, "Summer?" Ryan looked around the room and saw her sitting on the bed in her underwear, her knees pulled up to her chest.

"Ryan, I'm so stupid." She sobbed into the pillow on her lap.

"Hey, come on, what's wrong?" he asked sitting next to her, putting his arm around her.

"Me, I'm what's wrong. I...I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I have a complex or something," she said looking up at him with tear stained eyes.

"Complex on what?" he asked reaching for a white robe the hung off the end of the bed.

"Thanks," she said taking it. "Ugh, sorry, I look a mess."

"You know you're gorgeous, okay. Now just tell me what's up," he said rubbing her back softly. Summer didn't cry a lot. She was strong. Tough. So something must be wrong.

"I...well...Chip wanted to you know," she started, biting her lip and pushing a stray stand of hair behind her ear. "And I did...Well I thought I did. But it's like whenever I go to...I just...can't."

"Can't as in...or..." he asked, trailing off.

"Does it matter? The point is it sucks. It sucks Ryan," she said draping the robe over her shoulders.

Ryan wasn't exactly sure what to say to her. This was far more of a Coop/Sum conversation. Then again it wasn't. He didn't feel uncomfortable really. Maybe he and Summer were so used to each other it was impossible to feel uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, you're probably thinking I'm pathetic, sitting here crying to you," she said sniffing and wiping a tear from her eye.

"I don't think you pathetic Summer. Trust me," he reassured, hugging her close to him and kissing the top of her head.

Summer sighed and lied back on the bed, pulling the covers up over her.

"C'mon Atwood, you look tired. And if I have to spend the night alone, I'll seriously blame my suicide on you!" she said patting the bed next to her. It was never a second thought when they slept in the same bed, they always had. Ever since Summer was ten and her mom left. Ryan had come round to hers and listened to her, when no one else would and then she'd fallen asleep next to him.

"Okay, but if you kick me again I will make you sleep on the couch," he said pulling up the sheets and climbing in next to her before wrapping his arms around her, he closed his eyes.

"Night Atwood. Love you..." said Summer, closing her eyes and slowly drifting off to sleep.

"Love you too, Roberts."

* * *

Ryan awoke the next morning with his nose pressed into something warm. A few moment passed before he realized he had nuzzled himself into Summer's neck. He breathed in, shifting himself away from her a little.

He soon realized she had rolled over in the night and was therefore facing him. Her robe had fallen off in the night and her chest was pressed into his.

Ryan tried, he honestly did, not to look down and yet, he found his eyes wandering to look at the exposed skin above her bra. A few moments, maybe hours passed up until he heard Summer's voice.

"Ryan?"

Ryan's head quickly snapped up, but he calmed when he saw he eyes were still firmly shut.

"Yeah?"

"Your stiffy is digging into my stomach," she said, trying to sound casual.

Ryan felt himself flushing slightly red and tried to think of something gross, anything...

"It's okay"" she said feeling his tenseness. She then opened her eyes. "Your a guy Ryan...I don't expect just because your my friend that that your not...well you know...any guy would be..."

"Right..." he said cutting her off. "Well, I'm gonna go take a shower."

"A cold one?" she asked teasingly before running her fingers through her hair.

"Ha, god your hilarious," he said sarcastically before getting up, taking off his shirt before grabbing a towel and making his way into the bathroom.

Summer smiled to herself.

* * *

"But, Ry-Ry!" Summer said in a whiny voice as they got in her car. "I need a new dress and we always just watch movies! Besides I always need a guys opinion."

"So what? I won't know what looks good!" he said leaning his head back on the headrest.

"Ryan! Look okay, for a guy you have impeccable taste, so much so that until this morning, I had my suspicions about you. Now I guess I don't know, I just taught you well. Anyway, my car! And I say we go to the mall. So the mall it is." she said with a small nod, pulling out of the driveway.

* * *

"Just let me in okay!" Summer said attempting to pull at the changing room curtain.

"No! I look stupid," he said holding the curtain firmly in place.

"Ryan, I saw you in your skinny jeans phase okay, trust me, you couldn't look any worse than that," she said finally forcing the curtain open.

"They weren't skinny jeans. They were just a little small," he said rolling his eyes and turning to the mirror.

"Whatever," said Summer standing behind him and looking over his shoulder. "Besides you look hot. You can work a wife beater."

"I really can't, besides I'm not getting it."

"Shut up Atwood, if I didn't know it was you I would totally check you out in this, okay. Shows off all your toned-ness or whatever. You look hot. Now just get changed so I can try on my dress."

Ryan changed his shirt putting the wife beater on the hanger.

"Well then, vaminos Atwood, I need to try this on," she said ushering him away with her hands.

"What the hell? It's nothing I haven't seen before," he said raising an eyebrow.

"Really. Well that shows how much you know about fashion because this has an extremely low v-neck on it and most definitely cannot be worn with a bra. Besides we don't want you too, excited, that could be embarrassing for you."

Ryan reluctantly went out and drew the curtain. He hated waiting outside - it was just boring.

A few minutes passed before he heard a familiar voice.

"3 please."

Ryan turned to see the short blonde hair, which could only be associated with Anna.

"Anna," he greeted, waiting for her to recognize him.

"Ryan wow, hey," she said hugging him. "What a coincidence."

"Yeah. So what're you doing here? I thought you were flying back out to Pittsburgh tomorrow," he said returning the hug.

"Nope, good news actually: I'm staying," she said grinning.

"Really? What about school?"

"I'll be coming to Harbor with you guys. Great huh? Now we could actually get to know each other. The guy I went to Cotillion with won't need to be some random," she said teasingly hitting him on the arm.

"Jee, thanks. So what about kick off carnival, you going? Because I mean...if you're not already going with any one...Maybe we could..." he said trailing off.

"Like a date?" she asked smiling.

"Well...I-"

"Atwood!" came Summer voice before she pulled back the curtain. "Zip me up would you," she said before turning and pulling her hair up. She spotted Anna in the mirror. "Oh hey, Ally."

"Uhh...hey. So Ryan, pick me up at six okay, don't be late. I live in the flower streets, 54. Later." And with that Anna dipped into the nearest changing booth before Ryan could say a word.

"What was that about Friday? We're meant to be going to kick off," said Summer as Ryan finished doing up zip.

"Well yeah, but only if we can't find anyone else-"

"And what about me, huh Atwood? Were you thinking of me when you agreed to get into Ally-Pally pixies pants and totally ditch me!" she said angrily, folding her arms.

"Her name is Anna. And beside you can hang with us. It's not a date," he said defensively.

"Oh great I'll tag along like some sad third wheel? I don't think so," she said turning her back to him. "Unzip me. Now. You've put me in a mood now, congratulations."

Ryan sighed, unzipping her. Why was she so annoyed? She'd done the same to him with Chip.

"Right once I've bought this I'll drop you home. I've gone off the idea of shopping."

Did she just say that?

**TBC **


	4. What Do You Do When It All Falls Apart?

**Disclaimer: The O.C belongs to Josh Schwartz.**

**Hey guys, here's the next chapter! This is where everything starts to fall apart. Sounds like fun huh? Huge thanks to newportz-princess for beta-ing this for me! I know fixing all my mistakes must take forever :D**

* * *

Ryan had been early to pick up Anna; she'd come out in a pink beret style hat with a striped shirt and purple jeans. He knew Summer would never approve of it, but it was very Anna. In fact Summer hadn't approved of a lot since she found out Ryan was going with Anna. His calls went unreturned, his IMs' unread. He couldn't help but wonder what he'd done that was so awful.

But whatever, he was at kick off and he planned to enjoy himself. After three rides on the Tilt-O-Whirl he felt sufficiently sick.

"Candy floss?" asked Anna as she took a bite of her corn dog.

"I do not understand how someone so small eats so much. Especially after going on that," he said, shaking his head.

"Maybe I'm just not a big girl like you, huh?" she teased, laughing a little. "Who's that?" Anna signalled with her head to a boy in surf shorts and an Abercrombie shirt - Seth. But he saw why Anna was interested now, hooked onto his arm was Summer.

"Excuse me a sec..." he said, leaving Anna.

"What about-"

"I'll be right back," Ryan said, cutting her off before walking over and pulling Summer by the arm away from Seth and behind the Ferris wheel ticket booth.

"What the hell-" began Summer before Ryan interrupted.

"What are you doing here with him?"

"Same as you're doing with Anna, it's a date," said Summer shrugging.

"You can't stand Seth. You think he's up his own-"

"Well that's the past," she said cutting across him. "And besides, since my best friend ditched me, I didn't have much choice."

"Ditched you? I'm sorry, what about you with Chip? One rule for you and a different one for me then I guess?" Ryan asked rhetorically in an angrily tone.

"I am not doing this now Ryan, just...grow up," Summer said before walking back to Seth and kissing him on the cheek.

"Lovers quarrel?" asked Anna's voice from behind Ryan.

"I...Kind of," he said, sighing a little.

"It's okay, I get it. You and her, your just..."

"Complicated?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure. But it's sweet," she said before glancing around to look at Summer, then pulling Ryan up into a fierce kiss. Ryan was a little taken aback but responded enthusiastically, a little out of breath, as they broke apart.

"What was-"

"Summer was looking," said Anna with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"I...thanks," he said with a slight smile.

* * *

After two Ferris wheel rides and a few more on the Tilt-O-Whirl, Ryan was getting pretty hungry.

"You want some more food?" he asked, getting his wallet out of his jeans' back pocket.

"Nah I'm okay...but you can go get some, I'll wait here," said Anna with a smile, looking up at the lights on the Ferris wheel.

Ryan made his way over to the fried snickers stand, next to which stood a large truck.

"Uhh...one please..." he requested, getting out two dollar bills. He then heard a voice from behind the truck.

"Seth! We can't here!"

Ryan knew straight away it was Summer. "We can't okay! We'll get caught. Look okay, go get that hot dog you wanted and I'll meet you back at the car, we've still got Holly's after party."

Ryan waited until Seth walked out from behind the truck before dashing behind it to see Summer buttoning her shirt.

"I cannot believe you," said Ryan, just staring at her.

Summer jumped at his voice.

"Ryan...I...were you spying or something?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"That's besides the point."

"No Ryan, it's not okay. Besides since when did I run my life by your standards? I'd be locked in my room away from all guys if I did."

"What the hell? Excuse me for looking out for you," he said defensively while walking over to her.

"But you're not Ryan are you? You won't let anybody come near me, even Seth!" she said, beginning to raise her voice.

"Even Seth?" shouted Ryan. "Seth's the worst of the lot of them! You know all too well what he wants!"

"Maybe I want it too!" she said, squaring up to him. "Ever think of that?"

"What, like how you wanted it with Chip?"

Before he could think of what he'd said, he felt a sharp pain in his cheek as Summer's hand cascaded into his cheek in a cold slap.

Summer immediately raised her hand to her mouth. She hadn't meant to...

"Ryan I'm so sorry," she said as she grabbed hold of his face on either side, hot tears running down her face as she kissed the growing red patch on his cheek repeatedly before looking up at him. It felt like an hour but the gaze lasted only a second before their lips connected in a kiss that didn't last long enough.

As soon as they broke apart, Summer collapsed into his chest.

"What are we going to do?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"I don't know," he said quietly, one hand absent-mindedly stroking her hair. "I don't know..." Ryan repeated.


	5. Make Your Heart Feel Something It Won't

**Disclaimer: The O.C. belongs to Josh Schwartz.**

**Hey guys, I hope y'all liked the last chapter. So here is the fifth chapter of seven. I hope you like it, major thanks to newportz-princess for being an excellent beta! Enjoy :D**

* * *

_"Ryan I'm so sorry," she said as she grabbed hold of his face on either side, hot tears running down her face as she kissed the growing red patch on his cheek repeatedly before looking up at him. It felt like an hour but the gaze lasted only a second before their lips connected in a kiss that didn't last long enough._

_As soon as they broke apart, Summer collapsed into his chest._

_"What are we going to do?" she asked, her voice cracking._

_"I don't know," he said quietly, one hand absent-mindedly stroking her hair. "I don't know..." Ryan repeated._

Summer had sobbed into Ryan's chest until she heard Seth returning.

"Summer...I got us snacks," came Seth's voice from around the corner. Ryan and Summer sprung apart and Ryan disappeared around the other corner, Summer quickly wiped her eyes.

"Here," said Seth passing her a bottle of water and a fried snickers. "You okay?" he asked seeing her red eyes and blotchy face.

"Yeah..." she said biting the snickers. "Allergies..."

"Oh right, yeah, fall's a bitch. Way too humid. My hair is always falling flat in fall..." he said, shaking his head.

"Right..." said Summer frowning a little. "You wanna get outta here?"

* * *

Ryan rubbed his sore cheek as he retreated from behind the truck. He looked around seeing Anna standing near the Ferris wheel looking slightly grossed out as Marissa and Luke made out on it.

"Hey," he said coming up behind her.

"Oh hey," she said smiling. "Just a question, but I was just wondering if they stop for air?"

"Marissa and Luke? Not very often. I think it's mostly about the sex stuff with them," he said shrugging. There wasn't a deeper connection between them and there never had been, Ryan wondered how they'd ever ended up dating really.

"Isn't it in most relationships now a days?" asked Anna with a sigh.

"Well...I mean...I guess," he said with an almost apologetic smile.

"You're sweet," she said looking up at him. "We should go to that party, everyone's leaving."

Anna signalled her head to Summer and Seth climbing into the jeep.

"They're not everyone," said Ryan.

"Right...you have lipstick on your cheek by the way," she said walking past him to the jeep and hopping in.

Ryan followed, rubbing his cheek clean as he went.

* * *

The party was one hell of a celebration, Marissa was already on her fourth line and it was only ten. That was what made it so great; everyone forgot all their problems and gave in to the drug and alcohol scene just for one night.

Summer tipped another tequila shot down her throat, her mind was gone, everything was gone. She slurred along to the song on the stereo unsuccessfully, merely stringing a few words together. She took a smoke from Holly's mouth and took a drag before passing it back. At least she thought that was Holly.

"Hey babe..." came Seth's voice from behind her as he placed a hand on either side of her waist.

"Hey Sethyyyyyy!" she said in drunken slur, turning round and draping her arms around his neck to keep her balance.

"Right...so how about we go somewhere more private? Say...the guest room?"

"Oh wow! Totally," she said before stumbling over to the stairs. Seth knew getting Summer tonight wouldn't be a challenge.

* * *

An enthusiastic Anna had pulled Ryan into the guest room after only fifteen minutes of the party. He'd pushed her up against the wall, fumbling with her shirt buttons as she began to lift his shirt. They didn't plan on talking, that was for sure.

Just as Ryan undid the last button the door burst open. A clearly drunken Summer fell into the dark room followed by Seth who tried to steady her.

"It's okay, I'll help you with that," he said helping her lift her shirt.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Ryan, whom Seth then noticed for the first time.

Ryan pulled his shirt back on as Anna did up his buttons.

"Ryan!" exclaimed Summer hugging him enthusiastically. "Hey! Wow look Seth it's Ally!" she said going to hug Anna but missing entirely and falling into her instead.

"Whoops!"

Ryan grabbed a hold of her, steadying her.

"Your drunk, Summer."

"Well-done Sherlock," said Summer with a giggle.

Ryan helped her sit on the bed and then it dawned on him.

"And you were going to...what?" he asked, turning to Seth. "Take advantage of her?"

"Man it wasn't like that..." said Seth quickly realizing this could turn bad. The one rule with Ryan was that you don't mess with Summer. That was it. Summer was his one weakness and you didn't violate that. If you did, you paid.

"What was it like? I should've known you'd try something like this," he said as Anna sat next to Summer, helping her stay sat up.

"Oh c'mon! It's not like she's the picture of chastity now is it?" said Seth rolling his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Ryan, his voice raising.

"C'mon, she hands it out to everyone. Jee Ryan even you know that. She's Newport's slut if ever there was one," said Seth. Bad move. He knew as soon as he looked Ryan in the eye that he'd just crossed the line.

Ryan's fist collided into Seth's face, knocking him to the floor.

"Ryan!" yelled Anna.

Seth got up, but Ryan hit him again - and again and again.

"Get out!" he shouted at Seth, who got to his feet again and quickly left for fear of getting hit again. "You too..." he said turning to Anna, who looked as though she were about to cry as she left the room.

Ryan closed the door after them, and then began hitting the wall - again and again and again. White light flashing before his eyes in anger as his fists became hot and sticky with blood. But he didn't care, he hit and hit and hit, and image of Summer with Oliver, Chip, Seth flashing through his brain as he gave in to his rage.

And then...he stopped. Two arms closed around his ribs, holding him close. He struggled against her at first before collapsing into her, his face wet with hot tears of anger.

"I can't anymore Summer, I can't," he said, his voice cracking as he buried his face into her shoulder.

"Shh..." she said soothingly into his ear. "I know, I know."

And for once Summer was saving Ryan. Ryan felt safe there with her. They stayed in a close embrace for a few minutes, Summer whispering it was okay in his ear. She then led him to the bed and sat down.

"I can't do it anymore Summer. I can't keep doing this," he said looking at the floor. "Every time I see you with another guy I want to hit someone and I can't do that Summer, I can't."

"Shh..." she said placing her hand on his. "I know...I know. And you shouldn't have to. Seth's right...I'm such a...a slut."

"Don't. Your not a slut, your just easily lead," he said smiling at her a little.

"Well I love you for putting it so...nicely," she said smiling up at him.

"I love you," he said without thinking.

"Well, I love you too," she said stroking his hand. But the tone in her voice wasn't as serious, she hadn't understood.

"No..." he said standing up, his back to her. "I mean...I mean, I'm in love with you."

Summer paused. He was? Well...Perhaps she was too, in fact she was. She walked up behind him, turning him round by pulling his wrist and putting one hand either side of his face. She was definitely sobered up after this kiss.

"Kiss me," she said, their lips almost touching as she spoke. Ryan didn't need to be told twice, their lips connected in a fierce kiss. It wasn't soft and loving like their earlier kiss, this was filled with lust, want.

He kissed her like he would never kiss her again, quickly moving from her lips, down her neck and across her collarbone as Summer tilted her head back with a moan. He placed his hands on her ass, lifting her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her into the wall. She grabbed his face again, kissing him for all she was worth. And then she felt it, her phone vibrating in her pocket. Not now, why now? She thought.

"Ignore it," he said between kisses. But the moment was gone. Summer pulled away from the kiss.

"Ryan...we can't-"

"Don't say that! Don't you say we can't Summer because we can. I'm in love with you. We're in love. You feel it, I know you do," he said, feeling his face burning.

"I...I do love you Ryan but...everything will change," she said, looking down, her legs were still round his waist holding her up.

"For the better. It'll change for the better!" he insisted. "Just don't leave now Summer, please. Please."

She looked into his eyes, he looked like a wounded puppy, she loved him, she knew she did but...

"I'm sorry," she said unhooking her legs and pushing her hair behind her ear. She leant up, capturing his lips in a short kiss before straightening her hair out a little, wiping a tear from her cheek and leaving Ryan stood there, alone and broken.


	6. It Was Fate

**Hi guys! Sorry for the long break before this chapter! I've had exams and stuff, but here it is, Chapter Six. Enjoy :) This hasn't been Beta-ed due to the fact that i've made you guys wait long enough! So any grammatical faults or spelling mistakes are my own!**

Summer had woken up with mascara streaked across her face and her pillow wet from the tears. She didn't understand why she was so scared to love Ryan.. He was a good guy. He'd never hurt her.

Not like her, she kept hurting him. Letting him down. And she knew it hurt him, but she couldn't help it; she was afraid. So as she sat up, wiping her puffy eyes with the back of her hand before hugging her knees to her chest, she knew she had a choice to make. It wouldn't be easy.. it never was. But she had to do it, to stop herself from hurting him ever again she'd have to hurt him one last time...

--

Ryan hadn't slept much, the dark circles under his eyes making him appear gaunt. He looked over at his clock, 3 PM. Seth and Kirsten had tried to get him to come outside, get up .. but nothing worked. Getting up couldn't help him now.

He got up to stand at the window, watching as small droplets of rain fell. It never rained there but it seemed appropriate that the weather was in sync with his emotions. Though he didn't know exactly what kind of weather would be as terrible as he felt. Thunder was too loud, this was a quiet sadness... in fact rain was perfect. He stared out at the blank landscape, the only form of life being the flower delivery guy, going back and forth to his truck. Time passed... ten minutes.. half an hour.

A car pulled up and a small figure got out, ran to the mailbox and got back in before driving off. Ryan snapped out of his daze almost too late...

It was Summer. No two ways about it. He found himself opening the poolhouse door and running barefoot across the wet gravel, shivering in just a wifebeater and sweats. She was gone. Opening the mailbox, he tore open the letter. Summers handwriting. Rain caused the ink to run as he read it;

_Dear Ryan,_

_I don't know what to say to you except that this has to stop. We've messed up everyones lives enough. I've messed up yours. I don't know why this is happeneing but i know we were just caught in the moment last night. I don't love you. _

_I'm leaving. Don't try and find me. It's better this way. With me gone i know things can go back to normal. Maybe someday we'll be perfect for eachother. Life is tearing us apart... Maybe one day something can bring us together. I don't know.._

_Don't call me, it's difficult enough._

_Summer._

Ryan wasn't sure what it was that was causing the ink to run, his tears or the rain. All he knew was that he had to stop her, she'd only just left... he could catch her. She couldn't leave.

Ryan looked around, spotting the large flower truck and getting in the drivers seat. The keys were in the ignition. He sped out of the drive way ignoring the delivery guys shouts.

--

Summer hadn't been driving long.. she'd gone the long way round though. She needed on last look at Newport. But she found herself nearing the crossroads next to the airport, where she'd have ended up no natter what way she went. And that was when she realised; she was at a crossroads. This path could mean never seeing Ryan again.. Giving up her dreams.. Giving up him.

She had to talk to him, she had to. Not to lie this time. She would tell the truth, the whole truth. She pressed the phone to her ear, trying to formulate the words in her head, but none would come. Sorry wasn't good enough, not this time. She couldn't sink into him, tell him he he was her best friend and her favourite. Not this time. The tone beeped monotonously, for what felt like a lifetime. She began to panic as the message machine kicked in.

"I'm sorry, i'm so sorry, it's not good enough, it can't be. Don't forgive me, i don't deserve it.. I just.. Oh god I do love you.. I love you and it's awful and .."

She swirved the car round the round about, somewhat wildly the phone slipping from her grip as she turned into the side road.

"Crap.." she said under her breath feeling around her feet for the small pink cellphone. "Come on, not now.." she looked down, her hand under her seat, she felt it, yes.

And then... Too fast. The car hit the truck without a screech of brakes, or a scream of fear. No warning.

--

Ryan had gone the short way round, speeding through red lights and swerving out of the way of several cars, he was nearing the crossroads, coming in from the sideroad. He was driving so fast he knew it was fuelled by anger.. and love..

A love for her. He needed to talk to her. Then as though she'd heard his plea.. his phone rang. It was her.. he knew from the ring tone. He let go of the wheel and undid his seatbelt.. all he wanted was to talk to her. It stopped ringing.

Ryan hit the dashboard, hearing his knuckles break under his skin and the letter that he was still holding crunch in his fist... And then.. before he knew it was coming.. everything went dark.

The truck had collided with another car. And after the ear splitting crash, everything was silent.

--


End file.
